Our Beautiful Birth Story
On Wednesday, 2/19/2020, at 9:08pm, a very excited and proud Dad welcomed his 8lb 14oz baby girl into this world! It was such a joy to hang out with this sweet baby for the past 10 months then what a privilege it was to hand her over to her Dad. This will undoubtedly be a moment that I will cherish forever.
Baby Ada arrived just 3 hours shy of 41 weeks gestation. At my 39 weeks appointment, I was 3cm dilated, 60% effaced, and had a membrane sweep done. At my 40 week appointment, there weren’t any changes and had another sweep done. At 40 weeks and 5 days, again, no changes, and had a third membrane sweep done. 3rd time is a charm…. right!? Almost.
On Tuesday afternoon, just a few hours after having a third membrane sweep done, I had a very slightly uncomfortable contraction or two. With the hope of going into labor soon, I told my husband that I was going to take a short nap. Around 3pm, a contraction woke me up. Then there was another one a few minutes later. Then another one. After timing a few, I realized that they were consistently 6-7 minutes apart. Although they weren’t terribly painful, it was enough to know that they were contractions and not just your typical Braxton Hicks contraction. I text my Doula, Jessica, to let her know and she said she would be over around 6:45 to see if we can get things to progress. We worked on a few Spinning Baby techniques and listened to a relaxation recording while pumping. Instead of progressing, things started to slow down which was a bit disappointing but at the same time, we would take advantage of that and get a good night sleep.
Because of the consistent contractions on Tuesday evening, I asked my husband to stay home from work on Wednesday, just in case they started back up. On Wednesday morning when I woke up, I had a very strange thought. That thought was “This would be the perfect day to be induced”. I say strange because I was pretty adamant about avoiding induction, for many reasons (unless medically necessary of course). I truly believe that because I made this decision on my own without any pressure, I was physically and emotionally at peace with being induced. I was 40 weeks and 6 days pregnant, my husband was home from work, and the IF was already in Frederick (he came to Frederick after I let him know that I was having consistent contractions and he decided to get a hotel room, just in case it progressed into labor over night)… it just felt right. Except one thing…. I was actually scheduled to be induced on Thursday. I took my chances, signed on the patient portal at 7:45am, and wrote a message to my providers. I said that I was scheduled to be induced on Thursday but it wasn’t the best day, and asked if I could possibly come in that morning. Before I even got a chance to call them, I received a call at 8am and was excited to hear that it was one of my midwives, Karen. She asked if I would like to come in that morning and I told her that I would love to. Karen said that someone else was scheduled to be induced that morning but they changed their mind so I let her know that I would be on my way soon.
At 8:10am, I text the IF “Would you like to meet your baby girl today?!” and let him know that I could come in for an induction that morning. We both planned on leaving shortly and meeting at the hospital around 10am.
The morning went by quickly. Even though I already had my bag packed for about 3 weeks now, for some reason I didn’t get out of the house until around 10am. I arrived at the hospital around 10:30, got checked in, changed into the gown that I brought, and I was starting to get hooked up to everything as the IF arrived.
Pitocin was started around 11:30am and I was still about 3cm dilated. Because I was GBS+ and needed antibiotics, the midwife said we would start the pitocin slowly to make sure I had enough time to get all of the antibiotics that I needed before delivering. I thought that was perfect considering pitocin contractions are known to suddenly hit you. During this time, the IF and I had a nice time catching up for about an hour but knowing that it was going to be a long day, I thought it would be a good time to have him step out for a bit so I could get some rest. It was around that time that I started to feel the contractions start but they very light, just achy cramps and uncomfortable lower back pain.
Just a couple minutes later, just before 1pm, my Doula, Jessica, arrived. I told her that Karen said that the baby was posterior so we got started on Spinning Baby exercises to get the baby into a better position. First, we did an inversion. For safety, Jessica had a nurse help while I got on my knees on the side of the bed (that was raised really high), then I leaned over the side of the bed and placed my hands on a chair, to where I was essentially upside down. That was done for about 30-60 seconds. The next exercise, I got on my hands and knees, Jessica stood above me, wrapped a scarf around my belly, gently pulled my belly up, and gently jiggled my belly for a few minutes to help encourage the baby to get into a better position. Then we also did some side-lying release exercises where I lay on my side with my belly off of the edge of the bed, and lean my leg over. We rechecked the baby’s position and she was no longer posterior and now in the ideal position for birth.
Around 3pm, Karen and I talked about how manually breaking my water could help things progress. I agreed to have her manually break my water and I was about 4cm dilated then. It wasn’t long after that contractions really started to kick in. At that time, I felt like I needed to get out of bed and sit on the exercise ball. The pain of the contractions was a reminder that I would be delivering this sweet girl, very soon, and it got a little overwhelming. As I sat on the ball, I rested my head on the bed and let go. I needed to let go of the anxiety that I was feeling and remind myself how birth isn’t painful, but beautiful. Having Jessica by my side is just what I needed in that moment. Even just her presence was calming and is a great reminder of how wonderful it is having a doula, for physical and emotional support.
My midwife was so calm and sweet as well. Around 3:30, Karen let me know that it can take about 30 minutes to get an epidural and to let her know when I wanted her to order it. I asked her to ask me in about 15 minutes, to give me some more time to labor out of bed without it. Well, just a few minutes later I changed my mind, and I am so glad that I did. In the 30 minutes that it took to get the anesthesia in the room, contractions had really become painful. During the wait, Ben arrived at the hospital. When he walked into the room, I felt so relieved. It wasn’t until he walked in that I realized just how much I needed him, especially at that very moment. I told him that I needed a hug and I held on to him and well, sobbed. I needed the pressure of his hug, the comfort, as the physical pain was overwhelming. It was just what I needed.
Around 4pm, it was time for the epidural. Only one person could be in the room with me during the epidural so Jessica asked if I wanted her or Ben to stay. My first thought was Ben, but right after Jessica left the room, I changed my mind and I asked Ben to grab her. I can’t really tell you what changed my mind, but I knew I needed Jessica at that moment. To get ready for the epidural, I put my legs over the side of the bed, put my chin on my chest, and Karen embraced me. Jessica was to her right, holding my left foot, and as odd as it may sound, it was extremely comforting. Bless the anesthesiologist. She was so sweet and said that she likes to distract her patients, but she asked me the wrong question, lol. She asked me to tell her about my kids and the was the worst question to ask me as I was overwhelmed, hormonal, emotional, and really missing them. I only got far enough to say that I have 3 kids and that Layla was ten before losing it. Karen and Jessica were amazing, distracting me with words of affirmation. Jessica would squeeze my foot, or rub my arm, which was such a comforting distraction. During that time of pain, I felt so much peace, love, and comfort from Jessica and Karen which made the epidural go smoothly.
Around 4:30, I got situated in bed and immediately started to feel better as the epidural took the pain of the contractions away. I was checked and was about 5cm then and Karen said she would check again around 6:30-7. Jessica had text the IF to let him know that I was doing well, around 5cm, and that I was going to rest for awhile. Shortly later, I asked for Ben and the IF to come back to the room. I knew that the IF was wanting to know when he could come back to see me so I thought it would be a good time to quickly touch base before I tried to get some good rest in. I had a quick visit with him and Ben before politely kicking them out. I knew that I needed rest and relaxation without any distractions.
After they left, the nurse came in and said that my blood pressure was really low. It was at that very moment that I remembered that my blood pressure dropped after an epidural with Finley. I honestly don’t think I would have remembered that if it wasn’t for the fact that it was happening again, so I forgot to tell them it had happened in the past. My blood pressure got down somewhere around 60/40 so they needed to give me medication. They gave me an injection of ephedrine in my thigh and I believe some in my IV as well. The medication didn’t take long to get my blood pressure up to a normal level.
I was checked around 6:15 and I was about 7/8cm dilated. I spent some time resting and some time conversing with Jessica. We were having a pretty good conversation when I noticed that I was starting to feel some slight pressure. We could hear the baby’s heart rate and I think I asked Jessica a million times if it sounded like a heart decel. I was only extra worried because I knew that pitocin can be a little rough on babies, which worried me because I didn’t want the birth to end in a C-Section because of heart decels (which was almost the case with my daughter and middle son. C-Section was mentioned because of heart decels but I thankfully delivered them without needing a C-Section). At one point the baby did have a heart decel that we heard, and Jessica was just about to get a nurse but at that very moment, one walked in and Karen followed. Because of that and the pressure that I was having, she decided to check me around 7 and I was about 9cm dilated, so Jessica text the IF to come back to the room.
I started to push around 7:15. It was surprisingly calm and peaceful. I could feel the pressure of the contractions so I knew when to push which was nice because I felt like I was in control of the pushing. The closer we got to delivery, I asked to have a mirror. I have found that some people would be mortified if they had a mirror but for me, it was motivation. When I pushed, seeing the progress motivated me to push even harder and longer. There’s something pretty amazing about seeing the baby’s head before they are born. They are between the world that they have been in for the past 10 months and moments away from being earth side, with so much anticipation of that exact moment. And oh, was that moment magical.
At 9:08 pm, sweet baby Ada was born weighing 8lbs 14oz. Karen put her on my stomach and they wiped her down, while everyone just stared at her in awe. There likely wasn’t a dry eye in the room. I took the IF’s hand and just held his hand which was such an amazing feeling like “We did it! She is finally here!”. So many tears of happiness. The IF cut the cord and they took her to be wrapped up then handed sweet Ada back to me, so I could personally be the one to physically hand her to her Dad. That was the moment that I had waited so long for and it was even more amazing that I had imagined it would be. A moment that I will never forget. Seeing the IF hold his daughter for the first time… wow. It was as beautiful as I imagined. He looked amazing with his daughter in his arms.
The IF did skin to skin for an hour, fed her, and we sat and talked for a few while waiting to go to recovery. I held Ada for a few minutes and just admired her perfectly round chubby cheeks, adorable little nose, cute little ears, and that headful of dark hair that she has! Oh, what a beautiful baby girl! As we were leaving the room, I had to stop and take a photo of the IF pushing Ada in the bassinet because he had the biggest smile on his face. You could just see all of the happiness and joy all over his face. We got to the postpartum area where we got separate rooms but right next to each other.
During our two day stay, we visited each other a few times which was nice. My kids came up to the hospital to meet Ada which was really sweet. They couldn’t get over how adorable she is. Before going home, we had a nice visit to say “See you later” and have already made plans to get together this spring when the weather starts to get warmer.
This journey was just incredible. Even though this portion of the journey may have ended, there is no doubt that we will always remain friends. I’m so thankful that I was matched with such a sweet and caring IF and being able to carry his daughter for him was such an honor and a privilege. Thank you for trusting me with your daughter and allowing me to be a part of your story.
I have to mention how incredibly grateful and thankful that I am for my doula, Jessica. Out of all 4 births, this was hands down the easiest and most peaceful birth that I have had. During the birth, I felt so much peace, love, and comfort that made this birth so smooth and incredible. Jessica knew what I needed, when I needed it, at just the right time. I really cannot put into words how thankful I am to have had her by my side.