As The Journey Ends, Reflection Begins

Although I have a few weeks to catch up on, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on this journey as it’s coming to an end. I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and in disbelief that this baby girl will be making her grand appearance really any day now!

Let’s do a little recap…
When I contacted the agency back in October 2018, waiting 2 weeks for my medical records to be sent and approved by the Reproductive Endocrinologist felt like forever. Then medical clearance… psychological evaluation… mock cycle…. biopsies, ultrasounds, and blood work….  then impatiently waited to get a transfer calendar. The calendar was full of daily birth control, then lupron injections, estrogen pills, progesterone injections…  I felt like transfer day was forever away. 7 months after contacting the agency, we did a single embryo transfer on May 28th, 2019. 

I couldn’t believe we made it to transfer day! Then the journey really began! Waiting 4-5 days to take a pregnancy test felt like a lifetime! Then we did blood work around 10 or 12 days post transfer (gosh, I can’t remember now!), then repeat blood work two days later to confirm pregnancy. At 6 weeks, we had a heart beat confirmation ultrasound and it was amazing seeing the tiny little heart just beating away. After another ultrasound a week later, we were released from Shady Grove Fertility to my normal midwife office for the remainder of the pregnancy. 

It’s hard to believe that I am now 38 weeks pregnant and expecting this little girl to arrive any day. Looking back at the past 16 months, I can’t believe that we are finally here. I’m so incredibly grateful that I was matched with such a wonderful IF. I am also very grateful that I had many friends and family follow/support our journey in a private facebook group since the very beginning. The past 16 months have been incredible. 

I couldn’t have asked for a better IF to carry such a precious baby girl for. The Dad was able to attend the ultrasound appointments, some OB appointments, came with me to my Doula appointment, did a hospital tour together, and even got together to meet my family and then did some shopping for his baby girl. We often text and have had amazing communication since the very beginning. It’s going to be strange not to have our Thursday updates! Every Thursday when I turn a new week, I take a weekly photo and text it to him. He always asks how everything is going and how I’m feeling. I really couldn’t have asked for a more caring, sweet, and respectful IF to be matched with…. we made the perfect team. 

At 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant, she will be joining her Dad any day now! It still amazes me, and will always amaze me, that I was able to grow a baby for 10 months that is not genetically mine. And what’s even more amazing and such a privilege and honor is to be trusted to grow and nourish this sweet baby girl. How cool is it that she was able to hang out with us for 10 months then when she is ready, she gets to go home with her Daddy. To my IF, thank you for trusting me and giving me the honor to carry your precious daughter. Your daughter is incredibly lucky to have you as her father. You are going to rock the Dad life. 

Now…. we wait. To me, this is such a beautiful window. Sitting and waiting, wondering when she will be ready to join this world. Wondering how it will begin, how her birth will go, and imagining the most and amazing and beautiful moment that we all have been waiting for… seeing her in her Dad’s arms. I can very clearly remember the exact moment that I held each of my three babies, the 3 most amazing and vivid moments of my life. To be able to be a part of this Dad’s journey, and this moment, is such a blessing. 

So as tired, heavy, and achy as I feel, I’m soaking up these last few days of being pregnant. I let her know that I’m on her time and patiently waiting for her to decide when that perfect time is, but I did let her know that I am more than ready to do this soon, lol. So now the rest is up to her! 

I’m so excited that my next update will be her birth story. I’m envisioning the most beautiful and amazing birth and hope to share her birth story within the next week or two. Come on sweet baby, let’s do this! It’s been an amazing 10 month’s hanging out with you, but I promise your Dad is amazing. You will love him (and I can assure you that you are very much loved by him, and many, for a very long time now!)