The Beginning And The End
With Mother’s Day approaching, It’s a beautiful reminder how absolutely amazing it is being a mother. Even after the most exhausting and difficult days, I can’t help but to hold my babies, sniff their sweet little heads, and kiss them over and over. The love that I have for each of my children is indescribable and breathtaking.
Becoming a mother was easy. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes…. well, babies! But unfortunately, it’s not that easy for everyone. It’s not something that I had really thought about before because I’ve never experienced infertility, miscarriages, a complicated pregnancy, being in a same sex relationship, or being single and praying for a baby. I’ve been so incredibly blessed to have had three wonderful, smooth, and uncomplicated pregnancies that gave me my 3 beautiful children.
Call me crazy, but I enjoyed being pregnant with all three children. Sure, it was exhausting, my back hurt, I had heartburn, I didn’t sleep well, and felt like a beached whale by the third trimester, but pregnancy is so beautiful to me. I enjoyed watching my belly grow, feeling kicks and hiccups, and how crazy cool is it that I can actually grow a human INSIDE of me!?
After the birth of Finley, we knew that our family was complete. He is third child together, but we have four total children. Honestly, it was really difficult making that decision but when we really thought about the fact that adding another baby would mean having FIVE children, we quickly realized that we had made the best decision for our family, lol. Honestly, it was difficult for me to close that door. I felt like I was closing a door to such a beautiful part of life but I knew in my heart that Finley completed our family.
It was around the time that Finley turned a year old that my postpartum hormones started to regulate better and I started to accept the fact that we were officially done having children. I was really starting to enjoy the fact that the kids are getting older and I was starting to feel more like myself. I was no longer strapped down to a nursing baby and my kids were starting to actually sleep for once. Then I really started to feel at peace with our decision and started to really enjoy motherhood. Let me clarify, I have LOVED every moment of motherhood but let’s get real, it’s HARD. Even on the hardest days, I wouldn’t change a thing, but as the kids are getting older, things are slowly becoming easier. Our hardest days trying to take care of a newborn and young babies will be forever cherished and loved… but I feel at peace knowing that it’s behind us.
So now that brings us to the end and the beginning of two beautiful journeys. Ben and I are at the end of our baby journey so we have decided to help someone begin theirs! I am so blessed to have the opportunity to carry a child for someone else and give them the indescribable feeling of love and joy of being a parent. My children have been the biggest blessing in my life so it’s humbling knowing that I can make this reality happen for someone else. I started the surrogacy process 7 months ago and even though it felt like it took forever to get here, it’s actually hard to believe that we are so close to transfer day! On May 28th, we will transfer a beautiful 5 day embryo and pray that it sticks and grows into a beautiful sweet baby. I am very lucky that I was matched with a sweet IF (Intended Father) to begin this journey with. We make a great match and we are both so excited to begin this journey together.
May 28th can’t come soon enough! Here’s to a beautiful new journey ahead of us!
